Doctor Appointments For Your Aging Parent
[ photo by RODNAE Productions ]
The process of aging parent doctor appointments.
In my grandparents’ last few years of living their lives here on this earth, my mom spent A LOT of time accompanying them to their various doctor appointments. These appointments ranged from their primary care physician to their cardiologist, rheumatologist, nephrologist, etc.
(Related blog post: Being Present For Your Aging Parent During Rehab)
My mom rarely missed going to one of these doctor appointments. She saw their primary care physician so often that he knew my mom on a first-name basis, recognizing her as Leon and Naomi’s daughter.
These appointments were usually all day affairs–not necessarily because the actual time at the doctor’s office was longer than most appointments, but because of the lead up to the appointment and the after appointment time.
A large portion of the day was spent taking the time to go to their assisted living facility, get them into the car, drive to and sit through the appointment, pick up any new prescriptions and then take them back home.
(Related blog post: Time For A New Assisted Living Facility)
My ma-maw was not a fast mover, as is the case for many aging parents, so there was no getting to or from anywhere quickly. My mom went to those appointments faithfully, and I know if you ask her today, she said despite the time it took, she was always glad she went.
Those of you reading this who already go to these appointments most likely can relate to what I just described. It’s a long, tiring day. If you are already going to these appointments with your aging parents or whomever it is you are providing care, then you likely understand the importance of going. I think it is good to take the time to reiterate the reasons why accompanying your aging loved one to these appointments is important.
The importance of attending aging parent doctor appointments.
First, let me start with the old saying that two sets of ears are better than one. That is true in so many cases. And if I may, in those cases in which you have a couple, i.e. two parents, of whom you are providing care, three sets of ears are better than two.
My grandparents would go to every one of their appointments together. Despite that, my mom would still go with them. Mom was able to take notes from the appointments, including updates on how their various diagnoses were progressing and recommendations for treatments/medication instructions. Pa-paw or Ma-maw would hear these things, often getting the information only in bits and pieces.
Medical jargon can be difficult to understand. Throw in a malfunctioning hearing aid or just overall feelings of being overwhelmed, and the majority of the information can seem to go in one ear and out the other. Mom was there to get those details, write them down, and then be able to go over the details/plans of treatment with Ma-maw and Pa-paw and their nurse at the assisted living facility after the appointment was completed. This took pressure off both Ma-maw and Pa-paw to get every detail of the appointment, actually letting them feel a bit more at ease during the appointments.
(Related blog post: How To Advocate For Your Loved One In The Hospital)
Ask questions. Get the details.
The next benefit of my mom being there was that she was then able to ask any questions she might have had for their care prior to the appointment as well as ask any questions that might have come up during the appointment. I also advise encouraging your aging parent, who you are accompanying, to ask any questions that might come up during the appointment, making sure he or she is able to be clear on what information is relayed. By encouraging them to ask questions, it still gives them ownership in their care.
Allow your aging parent to do as much of the talking as possible.
While at your aging parent’s doctor appointment allow your loved one, the patient, to do as much of the talking as possible in regards to his or her health and answering the physician’s questions. Understandably, there are some who are not able to speak for themselves, but most can, at least to an extent. Allow your loved one to answer the physician’s questions, and only chime in if there is important information that has been left out.
Allowing your loved one to answer the questions gives the physician information regarding how a patient is doing with his or her health physically, but can also allow the physician to make some assessments on how the patient is doing from a cognitive standpoint as well.
Time spent together.
Again, I know these appointments can be time consuming. If you are fortunate to have siblings that live nearby, you can divide these appointments up between siblings if need be. The final thing I want to say about the importance of attending doctor appointments is the good side of the time factor...at least for some of you. My mom still says today how grateful she is for the extra time she got to spend with her parents in their final years of their lives. Was it tiring? Absolutely. But she says she was able to spend extra time with them she most likely would not have if she not gone to the appointments. Call it a silver lining to the often tough job of the appointments. Silver lining or not, attending these appointments with your loved ones is very beneficial in their care. If possible, I strongly encourage you to go along to doctor appointments for your aging parent.
(Related blog post: Respite Care Services)
Feeling overwhelmed with the process?
Afraid you may not make the right decision at the right time? This stage of life for you and your aging parent often brings more questions than answers. Reading information from a trusted source like me can help guide you in the process. However, if you still feel overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to reach out to me. I am happy to help with a personalized plan for your unique situation.
© 2022 Jessica Kluetz, DO