Time For New Assisted Living Facility
[ photo by Andrea Piacquadio ]
How to decide to move aging parent to new assisted living facility.
Your loved one is now a resident in an assisted living facility, skilled nursing facility or memory care unit, but you no longer feel good about the place he or she is living. I have seen this happen time and time again with family members, friends, and patients.
The tough decision to move a loved one into either assisted living or a skilled nursing facility was made. Mom or Dad was settled in, and you hoped for the best. Unfortunately, after moving her there, you realize this is not the place you had thought or hoped it would be.
I wrote a previous blog post on how to select a facility for your loved one. The goal of that post was to be a guide to, hopefully, get it right the first time. Maybe at the time you selected the facility, you did not know the things to look for when selecting a place. You may have had to make this hard decision right in the middle of the pandemic. Since March of 2020, making the suggested visits to the facilities and meeting therapy and nursing staff prior to making your decision was not possible due to visitor restrictions. Facilities are now more open and those important visits can happen again.
I have often heard people report of a loved one who has been in the same facility for several years, but new management came in and it just is not the place it was when you first moved him there. In this case, it is an even harder decision because that place is familiar to him. More often than not, the decision to move a loved one into one of the aforementioned facilities is not taken lightly. Much thought and care go into making the decision and selecting what you believe will be the right place.
I wanted to take the time to write this post to inform each of you who might be going through this time of uncertainty that just because you made a decision and moved Mom into one place does not mean she must stay there for good. In the same way you might decide you want to move into a new home for one reason or another, you can do the same for your loved one. Your loved one is never married to the same place just because it is the one you initially selected. Is it a process to move your loved one to a new place? Absolutely. Sometimes, though, it is a necessary thing, especially if it is for the well being of your loved one.
What is the best way to go about moving your loved one to a new facility?
To begin, make sure your decision is not a knee jerk reaction to something. As great as many places might be, I think it is very hard to find a perfect place. Just as the majority of work places do not have all perfect employees, the same goes for the majority of care facilities. If it’s a care issue you are noting, do not hesitate to ask to talk with the director of the facility.
I have had more people than I can count be upset about something going on with the care of their loved one, and I had no idea. I remind people that the only way for a change to happen is for those in control to know there is an issue. If it is a place led by people who truly care about their residents, the leaders will do whatever they can to make the changes to keep their residents both safe and happy.
Let’s say you have brought up your concerns with the leadership, and you just are not seeing the changes. This would be a time when I would advise starting to look for a new place to move your loved one. If your loved one seems to be in danger in the place he or she is currently staying, I would advise acting faster and not waiting on leadership to make a change.
Necessary but not easy.
If it is a dangerous situation for your loved one, then you might need to bring your loved one home with you to live while you find a new place, or you can also look into respite care (more on that next week). If the situation is one in which you feel your loved one could be in a different place that is better suited for their needs, then I would advise you to keep him or her in their current place until you have a new place selected. Again, if you have not done so, please go back and read my blog on selecting a long term care facility or assisted living facility for your loved one. It can be an arduous task, but if it is what you feel is best for the person you love, then I would advise you go for it.
Have you had to move your aging parent from one facility to a new one? What was the deciding factor in your situation? Share in the Comments section. Or reach out to me directly.
© 2021 Jessica Kluetz, DO